{"id":74,"date":"2020-07-31T20:58:00","date_gmt":"2020-07-31T20:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/enlightenment-demo.onedesigns.com\/blog\/?p=74"},"modified":"2020-10-07T11:02:23","modified_gmt":"2020-10-07T11:02:23","slug":"beyond-the-digital-divide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enlightenment-demo.onedesigns.com\/blog\/2020\/07\/31\/beyond-the-digital-divide\/","title":{"rendered":"Beyond the digital divide"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How parents and teens are learning to navigate the risks of life online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carmel Molony is Facebook friends with her daughter, Frankie, who just turned 14. She also follows her daughter\u2019s Instagram account. But then Frankie\u2019s digital life disappears into Snapchat and Carmel knows she cannot follow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI could be on Snapchat with her but I still wouldn\u2019t be able to know her activity. It\u2019s not a platform like the others,\u201d she said. \u201cAs a parent, even if I wanted to, I simply couldn\u2019t say I want to see all your snapchats. But I know she uses it a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Michelle Fincke has four children, aged 13 to 17, and has also come to realise that once a child has a smartphone, real time monitoring of their social media habits becomes impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy 15-year-old is really into music these days, which is lucky,\u201d she said. \u201cIf you think of the internet as an insane haunted mansion, he was a kid who wanted to explore every room, attic, basement, dark corner and cupboard. Now he only wants to go to the entertainment room, so I\u2019m happy about that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The experience of these two mothers reflect a finding of the recent Digital Me survey, commissioned by the Australian Psychological Society and released as part of Psychology Week (November 12-18). According to the survey, 60 per cent of parents never monitor their child\u2019s social media account and, in fact, are wrestling their own issues about how much is too much screen time, let alone providing good guidance to their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Digital Me survey explored how social media and technology is affecting the wellbeing of Australians. More than 1,000 adults and 150 teens aged 14 \u2013 17 years were surveyed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the vast majority of adults and teenagers surveyed reported that their screens and social media accounts were a positive part of their lives, the study also found that an alarming 15 per cent of teenagers reported being approached by strangers on a daily basis through their online world, while 28.7 per cent said that they had been bullied on social media in the last 12 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But Australian Psychological Society spokesperson Dr Lyn O\u2019Grady warned against being too alarmed by the apparent \u201cstranger danger\u201d indicated by the survey. Noting that the number of teens surveyed was quite low, she also said that the term \u201cstranger\u201d would need to be investigated further, before conclusions could be made about how worried parents should be. \u201c\u2019Stranger\u2019 might just mean a friend of a friend, or it could be somebody they engaged with on, say, a Facebook group about a topic they\u2019re interested in,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carmel Molony agreed, saying her 14-year-old daughter went to a school with 280 kids in her year level alone, so often accepted friend requests or online conversation from fellow students she\u2019d never actually met, or friends of theirs \u2013 even if this does raise the slight danger of somebody on the other side of the screen pretending to be that person. \u2018Put it this way: she doesn\u2019t talk to anybody that somebody doesn\u2019t know,\u2019 Carmel said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lyn added that of the teen sample, the older youths should be spreading their social circles. \u201cIf we\u2019re talking about the 17-year-olds in the survey, they\u2019re almost adults and interacting with strangers is actually an important and necessary developmental stage, whether on social media or in real life. If the younger teenagers, or even younger kids, were reporting daily approaches by strangers, I\u2019d consider them much more at risk. They are less able to identify risks and more likely to act impulsively compared to adults. They need boundaries, rules and the guidance of parents to help them make good decisions \u2013 just as they do offline. The empowerment of parents is really important.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The survey found that more than three in four teens (78.8 per cent) and more than half of all adults (54 per cent) were \u201chighly involved\u201d with their mobile phones. Teens are reportedly using social media for an average of 3.3 hours each day, on five or more days of the week, but it can be difficult for parents to manage their child\u2019s time drain when more than one in five adults admit to using their mobile phone for no particular reason, or losing track of how much they are using it. The survey found that a sizeable percentage of adults, like teens, can suffer low self-esteem from social media (especially Instagram users), have been bullied online and tend to look at social media in bed before sleeping, which has been found to affect sleep quality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen it comes to digital life, parents aren\u2019t necessarily across the issue, or able to make comparisons with what is acceptable,\u201d Lyn said. \u201cIt\u2019s not like alcohol or other traditional issues of youth. They can\u2019t say: \u2018When I was your age\u2026\u2019 or \u2018I\u2019ve been there.\u2019\u201d Instead, this is a journey for parents and teens to go on together, rather than the parents being supervisors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, this may be the best way of discovering whether a teenager is comfortable with how their digital interactions are going. \u201cSaying, \u2018I\u2019m hearing about this; do you know about it? Has it happened to you?\u2019 is a conversational way of starting the discussion without the teen feeling like you\u2019re trying to monitor them,\u201d Lyn said. \u201cFor the younger end of the demographic, there is a delicate balance needed between parental supervision and the foundation of trust and an adolescent\u2019s need and right for privacy. In lots of ways, parents have been dealing with that balance forever, but having control and power over a teen has never really worked at that stage. Parents need to be informed and understand, instead. Really, they should let their kids teach them about social media. Kids should be telling you what\u2019s going on, so you can make good decisions together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carmel Molony said she and her daughter had a strong relationship when it came to such discussions. \u201cFrankie is more hostile if we try to manage her time investment with that stuff. She\u2019s at a school where they have a laptop, an iPad and are allowed to have their phones. She went from a primary school, having nothing, literally overnight to a school where they have everything, so we are trying to put in place some way of helping her to not go down this rabbit hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn terms of what she\u2019s actually doing online, if she wants to do something without me knowing, she can. I can\u2019t manage that. I have to try and talk about my expectations, about how she needs to be thinking about herself and her mates and all their wellbeing. We\u2019ve talked about her need to be wary about what she posts; that that stuff never goes away. About her need to be aware of what she\u2019s doing and what\u2019s appropriate to post; you know, don\u2019t say anything on a social platform that you wouldn\u2019t say to somebody\u2019s face. It seems like it\u2019s its own little world but it\u2019s actually not. It\u2019s connected to the real world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Michelle Fincke said she is unconcerned with the idea her teenagers encounter strangers online, whether friends of friends or genuine strangers in online groups they belong to. \u201cI don\u2019t mind, with the proviso that they are talking about what\u2019s appropriate and what isn\u2019t. I\u2019ve spoken to all of them about this: if you are uncomfortable with what\u2019s being said, you should probably avoid it and that person, and you can talk to me about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am confident there is almost no chance one of my kids would agree to meet somebody they have met on the net, and they have friends that they talk to about this stuff. I\u2019ve told my 15-year-old that he and his friends have to have each other\u2019s backs: at parties, with online stuff, with potential bullying.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To learn more about the Digital Me survey and Psychology Week or find tips for thriving in the digital age visit compassforlife.org.au<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article was originally written by Nick Place and appeared on Psychlopaedia on November 12, 2017. You can read the full article<\/a> on Psychlopaedia.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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